What I’ve been wearing all this time
I have worn politeness like perfume. Smiles stitched tight at the corners. I’ve worn quietness not because I had nothing to say, but because saying it would cost too much. I have worn other people’s expectations. Sometimes joyfully, sometimes like armour. And I wore strength. Heavy, but necessary.
No one ever asked how it felt on me. Only how it looked.
This blog is not here to teach you how to look good. There are enough voices doing that. Most of them are shouting.
I’m here to speak softly and clearly about something else. About the weight clothes carry when you’ve had to survive things quietly. About how a headwrap can mean safety one day and suffocation the next. About textures that calm the body without asking permission. About the skirt you couldn’t wear because of what they’d say. About how we, African women, have been dressing around fear for years.
I work with women who are tired of hiding in plain sight. Women who want to wear themselves, not just outfits. Women who want to feel safe in their skin again, or maybe for the first time. If you’re here, you don’t need fixing. You need room.
Fragments of Me is that room. A place to lay things down gently. To ask, without shame.
“I’ve worn other people’s expectations. Sometimes joyfully. Sometimes like armour. No one ever asked how it felt on me. Only how it looked. I’m not here to teach you how to dress. I’m here to ask what you’ve been carrying. And if maybe, just maybe, you’re ready to wear something that feels more like you.”
Why did I wear that? What was I protecting? What am I ready to let go of now?
Each story I share here will carry one thread. One truth at a time.
Some will feel close. Some may sting. But all of them come from a woman who works with other women. Not to change them, but to remind them that how you dress is a language too. And you deserve to speak it in your own voice.
So this is me. Not styled, but present. Not perfect, but ready.
And you? Come as you are.
There’s space here for what you’ve carried. There’s room here for how you choose to dress now. No performance. No pressure. Just truth, worn gently. Welcome to Fragments of Me!
